Swearing 2.0.1 Places & Giving Directions


“Shithole, sweet shithole…”

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While accessorizing is inevitable, the skill of identifying places and giving directions correctly also comes in handy. The “great and mighty” English language can be a reliable and trustworthy tool here as well. In addition to the plain and simple “Shithole”, there are various other options (both of PG-13 and Urban Dictionary variety) that should not be overlooked.

Boondocks

A classic, that thanks to Troy Duffy and his “The Boondock Saints” is now suitable even for kindergarten and Sunday school. Means only relatively remote, but generally desolate place, where nobody in their right mind would want to go after dark to. With high probability it will also be crawling with thieves and rapists, and border on some no-good shady neighborhoods on the wrong side of town.

Shithole

The garden variety of a no-good place, usually quite remote, run-down to the point of being decrepit. A place on the map that can easily be confused with flies’ droppings, a shithole is usually stinky, desperate, and marks those who did not manage to escape its tight grip with that especially hopeless demeanor that is almost impossible to lose.

Middle of Fucking Nowhere

This place is not even on the map – never has been and never will be. The main definition here is remoteness, bordering on oblivion.

Bum-Fuck Zone

As is clear from the description, this is a place where nothing good ever happens. You can expect trouble. And more trouble. And even more trouble. Being robbed, raped, humiliated and mutilated will be the least of your worries and will only top the list of all the chance occurrences bound to happen here.

Up Shit Creek (Without a Paddle)

This is usually a destination, and not just a place – somewhere you send others to, but can’t really own up to coming from. Use the part in the brackets to add insult to injury. Can also refer to a situation without any good outcome, as in here:

The Blues Brothers

The Asshole of Nowhere

Although I have a strong suspicion of this being just a loose translation from one of the many nondescript Eastern-European languages, “The Asshole of Nowhere” does actually exist, although despite the definitive article, it is by far not the only place on the map deserving the title.

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